Yes, Conflict CAN Be a Good Thing!
By Candace Fisher, SPHR, Director, Organizational Development/Certified Coach
Published April 9, 2024
What’s the first image that comes to mind when you think of conflict? Yelling? Sarcasm? Someone storming off? People avoiding each other? While these may be the traditional or more common views of conflict, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
A family is discussing where to go for their summer vacation. If everyone’s opinion is heard and considered, compromises can be made, activities can be planned, and everyone can enjoy the vacation. A group of friends are deciding how to spend the evening. Several ideas are tossed out, and the group has a fun night, trying to make sure everyone feels included and has a good time. A project team at work is debating solutions to a problem and weighs the benefits and drawbacks of each, ensuring that each team member is heard and that all options are considered.
While many people may think the term “productive conflict” is an oxymoron, when all parties are focusing on the best outcome for the family, the group, or the organization, the conflict can be engaging, thought-provoking, and positive.
The key is that all parties enter the conversation with a common goal in mind, and everyone is concerned about reaching the best decision and outcome for everyone. Egos and personal agendas need to be set aside. Some may say, “Who, me? I don’t have an ego!” Everyone has an ego. According to a 2023 Forbes article, “The term ego is used to refer to a person’s sense of ‘self’. It encompasses their thoughts and feelings, including their self-esteem and sense of self-importance. We all have an ego.”
So how do we set our ego aside? Some introspection into our own reactions when conflicts arise can help. Encourage everyone involved to examine their reaction and their thoughts about the situation. Are their thoughts productive and contributing to a resolution, or are they destructive and causing discord? If my thoughts are destructive and are causing me to argue or to dig in deeper, I need to pause and reflect on my reaction to determine the appropriate next steps. I probably need to be more curious about others’ perspectives, listen with an open mind, and encourage their input.
Learning to deal with conflict productively isn’t always easy, but the rewards can be great. The best outcome for all can be achieved, and individual frustration, anger, and hurt feelings can be minimized.
If you or any of your team would like to understand how to constructively manage conflict and build more effective working relationships, check out our upcoming session of Productive Conflict Resolution. For more information on this or any of our training sessions, visit the Training Calendar on our website, or call us at 800-448-4584.